In stark contrast to the chaotic three-way debate between Donald Trump, Chris Wallace, and Joe Biden, Americans overwhelmingly agreed that tonight’s vice presidential debate was easily won by the unannounced challenger.
Going only by Fly, the new contender made his presence known by resting upon Mike Pence’s head. Possibly attracted to the bright lights from the debate stage, Fly caused a stir on both sides of the aisle.
One Democrat debate watcher remarked, “I didn’t think Pence would be alone on stage with Harris. But when I saw Pence’s wife gave her permission to Mike to talk to a woman, I thought there might actually be a debate. So Fly making Pence looking like a buffoon was great. Can you believe that: a Fly? That is so un-vice-presidential.'”
Republicans generally stated that Pence’s debate points were strong, but several conspiracy theorists quickly jumped onto the idea that Fly might be a Russian bot. Possibly released by Hillary Clinton to distract from the recent bombshell over her abuse of office to manipulate the 2016 election.
While each side had their own expected reactions, several independents noted they were, after the last debate, hoping for something closer to a WWE smackdown.
“People told me the last debate was a like a wrestling match, so I was pretty excited to watch. Until that Fly showed up,” commented one undecided voter. “I mean, the whole thing was pretty boring. That’s why I never watch it. What’s the vice president even do, anyway?”
In response, another independent jumped in and said that the vice president serves as the President of the Senate, casts tie-breaking votes in the Senate, is first-in-line to become President of the United States, and also stars in that reality show, VEEP, on HBO.
In the absence of any desire to report factual information to Americans, mainstream news outlets have rampantly speculated on the possibility of a common housefly winning the vice-presidency and ultimately ascending to the Office of the President.
However, one political expert suggested that scenario would be “highly unlikely without some kind of Jeff Goldblum contingency. Like, in that movie, The Fly?” Several political commentators quickly agreed that would indeed be “bad ass”.
Yet, in an election where both presidential candidates are old men, neither Pence nor Harris spent any part of the debate on the most important issue: what he or she would do if they became president. Instead, both veep candidates allowed Fly to capture the hearts and minds of Americans everywhere, reminding them that the vice-presidential debates contain mostly bullshit.